As i write with my ass half numb,thumb toe bruised and back aching like hell.. i recall some of the interesting events that happened post this announcement.As usual the Changanacherry Railway station is full as expected ,since its Easter(and Record Liquor sales too!) revelry was getting over.I lazed my way to the ticket counter and got myself a 2nd class ticket.I had no reservation,finally after hours of futile efforts.Ok so be it,I think there would have been others also who would share my grief,as there are many who suffer because of the lack of a double track from Ernakulam to Kayamkulam.The bus vendors were making a killing this summer and they wanted it that way(no double track) as it would kill their business.Also because of the weirdness of Indian Politics,no Railway Ministry in his right mind would focus on any other state other than his!(we losers are yet to have our Rail Mantri).So even as i contemplated my entry into the pre-historic(i will tell you why)general class,i saw my friend,Lijo standing there and chatting away i with another pal,Anish.So here we are discussing everything and anything under guys world-which hardly goes beyond gals,liquor and code,and our wait for “The Train” starts.So what if the train pulls in and hour late,we still have a train,thanks Mam B,i mean Mamata Banerjee!
As we devoured topics from the friends to foe to marriages to liquor(ok it always comes back here…),an old lady tried to sell her merchandise of unniappam,to us three with her histrionics.I had already given the lady 10 bucks as she was in need of money more than anything else,but Lijo still went ahead and bought a packet.As crowds started getting frustrated,we waited with sweats pouring down our backs and water down our throats.The train pulls in a full hour later and as i rummaged through the coaches to check with any familiar Ticket Checker so that i can buy myself a ticket.But to my bad luck,it was very much crowded and the only TTR that i could see was busy shouting at a guy for entering a reserved compartment.So finally i enter the much fancied General coach.Wait a minute,did i say enter….i am sorry,try to enter was what i meant.There are people sitting on the steps,bathroom,upper lower berths and twice that number of people standing and twice that number of luggage,in fact there were more luggage that people!So as my mind started analyzing and my right foot(its auspicious) searching for a foothold,i knew this would be a tough ride ahead.But i just managed to get in the “Wave”.This is a phenomenon that occurs when you stand in the path of a motley crowd trying to find its way in/out.In this case i found myself 10 cm inside and it required a Wave to achieve it,so you can guess the number of people inside the general compartment.There were nearly 130 people in that compartment.(note how i purposefully missed that exclamation mark there).Well this is the common scene in a average popular train in India.This compartment used to be for the middle class,often called the 2nd class,but now that the social fabric has changed and Indian middle class no longer remain so(they travel in AC coaches),the unreserved and the poor go through this suffering coach.As I just stood inside on one foot,a guy got a call on his cell asking if “he got a seat”.Well he replied yes,in fact he replied he was in air! People stood there immobile for hours and twitching only to get a breath of some fresh sweaty air.Hmm..well it was not as bad as it sounds.Its just that you will have some gals shawl.hair on your face and at the same time someone poking your nose and some *** stamping his authority on your foot,while someone is pricking your ass and yeah you have a heady mix of sweat ,fart and burps thrown in as freebies.At this moment some guy started playing “Saari umr hum ,mar mar ke jee liye,ek pal to ab hame je lene do”.Happy hour folks!But i saw your adjust karo attitude of the Indian public even in this misery.A gentleman with this hands both busy was fast losing his grip on his mundu,so he coolly asks the guy beside him to tie it for him.Team work,bravo lots to learn here.
Then as i managed to get a breather and managed to get in from the Nataraja posture that i was in for the past half an hour,the train pulled to Kottayam.Well to add to the 130 inside there were 50 waiting to join inside.Well whoever said the phrase the more the merrier would never have ventured out here!So as a few people hopped out,i grabbed the chance,and pushed myself ahead and eyed for any remote chances of a seat.Its then that i saw a guy just like myself sitting on the side seat all by himself!How dare he??having greeted him with ”swalpa adjust”,which is the equivalent of hello in this context,i managed cover half my ass.Well rest as they say is history.The guy next to me left at EKM,leaving me extra space!From there on the crowd grew and only after Palakkad did we manage to get some stale air again.As i pondered on my dinner ,i saw that people here had the distinct advantage that no TTR would ever venture here!But one thing amidst all this mayhem was that people connected pretty soon.And shared stuff and displayed some rare bonhomie to strangers.People became friends just with a smile,a snack,a tea or gossip.Even as the compartment became louder and louder with lots of young aspiring nursing gals and guys trying to impress,i started my own chat show with guys sharing our seats.Later we even shared food,now that’s a first!But such was the power of this new found togetherness that people just laughed away the current situation.Well people just cracked jokes and discussed current affairs as if they knew each other since childhood.I had now been seated for long ,and i sympathized with some of the guys who were trying to catch a quick nap while standing.So we came up with the idea of sharing our seats on a rotation basis ,so that each one can get some rest.So while this was an option of the few,the others soon took out their newspapers and settled on the floor.Some guys rearranged the luggage thrown on Upper berths and sat there!While some others shyly went on noting things that were going on ,as their pride was at stake!hmm..come the twelfth hour and all pride vanished to thin air.People were drowsy and they had to sit,so people had to adjust and sit while some like us took to the rotation policy game!There was this one girl who wanted none of this and tried to put up a fight with Goddess “Nidradevi”.Well after an hour she was noted sleeping on a guys lap,just as if they were a couple!Hah..the wonders of sleep!
Well people understood one another better in this adversity,and adjusted very well.I don't know where this famous Mallu spirit goes off once ,we walk out?After reaching Covai in TN,people locked themselves in the compartment as there was no more space for people to enter. We bought ourselves tea at 2.00 am and began to contemplate on sleep.But this was not to be,i didn't get sleep and started a standup meeting a guy impromptu and allowed another mate to sit in my place and sleep. As the train pulled itself into Bangarpet in early morn at 4.30,i got my seat back and then dozed away to glory!All along people pulled chains and the train got halted at a couple of places.Ohh the Indian railway,as i woke myself up to the stink of the garbage on the tracks and the sight of people relieving themselves(that reminded me that Visu is near…hmm Visu kani..),i thought this might well be my railway morning ragaa!
