Last night as i jumped into my infamous bailgadi(namma cab),seldom did i realise ,that i would know the definition of my title the hard way.Even as i jostled in the 1st floor,and finally found my cab,only to realise that the front seats were taken and i had to jump behind.It was an indica and we were expecting three people behind.Even as i prayed that the third wouldnt come,there comes Mr Abdul rushing in with his toothy smile.I smiled back too like a genie(though if i had the muscles of one i would love to smash his count of 32 to 16.... well those were enough for him to chew his food).So there i am pushed in the centre of the back seat and how little did i know that it would be the ride of a lifetime.
Not that i dont know how "well maintained" the cabs are ,but i found this one a bit weird,as something was jutting out from between the seats.Also there was this weird smell even as i entered it."Good heavens please reach me home fast".You will in all possibility reach home fast,if the roads are not that crowded,which never is ,but there is no possibility of reaching safe and sound!But today there was no other way but this.It was my destiny.I was the ONE.I didnt need the oracle to realise that .As soon as the cab zooted off, only to stop at the gates of the IT park,i realised that the wood/metal that was jutting out was trying my patience.As i shifted my ass across,the metal would slip way and then poke me again.Before long we reached the traffic zone and we were moving at a snails pace.As the drag prolonged,i was pretty much at discomfort.Even as i tried to focus my mind on some song,the fm starts blaring "Chitrana ..Chitrana...",my god can this be worse.Yes ofcourse as i realised later there was a old jagjit singh hit"tum itna jo muskura rahe ho,kya gham hai jisko chupa rahe ho"!
I have always known that fear had a contract with divinity.As the bumps up the road ahead soon turned me from an hardcore atheist to a "bhakt prahlada" in a matter of seconds!As i tried to remember my prayers the first of the many potholes came,and off goes my cry..the passengers try to ignore me..But soon after the second,third and many more they stared at me like i had abused them.I tried my best to keep the cries low,but anyone who gets a poke in the *#**$ would know it better.As i was learning the new found definition of split personality,i realised that perhaps this was one of the very innovative ways for actors,who love to get into the character to learn some new tricks, in their quest for perfection.U would guess very so that i was getting split,as i was going crazy.Then there up ahead comes the mother of all bumps!I took adequate precaution before hand,and i pushed myself up in the seat,only to come down banging later.I guess prayers and songs were of no use,as i lay assaulted by my cab!The only comfort came as one of my cabmates got off,and i shifted across with my bruised ass.This ride was definitely one big pain in the .. u know where!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sheee... magaa!!
Once upon a time there were 5 friends ...
And one day, just out of the blue they decided to go to shimoga..
Ohh..I forgot to give the guys an introduction.One was a Sam,a 6 foot something gal with a BIG heart,whose favourite pastime was drugs..so later she followed her heart and became a pharmacist!The second was a northeast chick called Rash,but without the flat nose and chinki eyes!She was this bindaas female who used to hang out with guys only.The third character was a guy called Mri,who was the angry young maan of our aaiyooo proj,who had a friend called Viral(no his parents didnt hate him!!).So they went together...Ohh did i miss out somebody?One..two..three..four..and ya a guy from Planet Kerala..for the timebeing we would call him SPK(does that sound familiar)Superr Personality from Kerala.
Ok there they go..We get together at Rash's place after a hard day of work(did we?) and order pizza for dinner and wait for our cab.They watched some stuff on tv and then decided to move on by 10.15,which became 10.20 thanks to Rash not knowing where the keys are..thankfully she managed to lose her keys in her pockets! They stuffed themselves in the Maruti Omni along with the baggage and moved on to Central Railways station.The train was there on the platform and they had to sit outside as it was pretty hot inside..and ofcourse they could do a lot of MLA work..Dont know MLA?Hmm see that u guys are a fresher though not to the concept of Mouth Looking Agents.Later after some 10 mins, the guy from planet Kerala begins to yawn incessantly .Sam and the others push him into his Berth, so that he doesnt transmit the deadly disease to them.After an hour more of waiting,joking and laughter the train finally pushes itself off @11.45 .While the others are busy adjusting their baggage and making themselves comfortable,SPK is busy romancing a mallukutty in his dreams.
"Slam,dhadang,dishum",and SPK wakes up ,its early morning @ 2.30 and someone is busy unfolding the middle tier of the side berth waking Mr SPK.No apologies,not even a sense of regret.It was rude, but the guy in the middle tier acted as if it was his daily chore to wake up the poor fellow on top tier.With much difficulty SPK finally gets his sleep back.His friends are busy watching him as if watching a comedy scene and they think the guy deserves it for all the pranks SPK has played on them.
“Koffeeeeeee,Kofeeeeee”.The guys bringing in the beverages in the Indian railways have such shrill voices.Even if SPK would have been having a spaceflight,he would be brought back to earth.Anyways its nearing 6.00 and people seem to be getting down and the train is a lot emptier now.Finally all the friends get ready to land on Shimoga.The guys get into a couple of autos and check into a hotel called Jewel Rock.Bath,breakfast and a couple of hours later, the gang is getting ready to have a blast in Shimoga. The Sumo is ready and everybody hops onto it. First stop is a Dam ,where the gang took a couple of snaps and moved on to Elephant camp. That was awesome(that was the only time when SPK had to remember his prayers),because there were a lot of elephants roaming around with the ever watchful howda on its back. ”Poor animals”, sympathized the Maneka Gandhi of the team, Miss Rash. Even its dung would have killed them.There were a couple of chained elephants too,that’s when the gang would swell their chests with courage and walk with a swagger,only to jump into the nearby bushes, whenever they see a elephant coming their way.
But the camp was pretty good .The elephants had a good bath in the nearby river and most of us were left watching agape at how the mahout had the courage to poke the mighty one and cleanse it and get away with this whole act. Sam and Viral even managed to get a feel of the elephants, my are they not daring! There was this little elephant who managed to just keep its head above the water. But still it went all the way down the river with its mommy elephant. That was a cute one. After being there for more than an hour of posing and photos, the gang moved on.
Later the gang moved on to a bird sanctuary, where there were more people than birds.After moving along for another hour or so ,the gang finally hit Kuvempu’s house(the kannada literary maestro).Nice little house though,lots of old stuff and literature.The gang couldn’t take in cams and relied on the explanation of the guide for answers.Some 8-9 doctorates the poet had, and they had none amongst them.A long drive from there,and a lunch later,slowly they moved ahead on a hilly peak.There was a jain temple on top,with lovely little pond with lots of fishes.The view from the top was absolutely stunning.Nice breeze and the sound of cow bells ringing from somewhere below.The man from kerala ,Mr SPK did manage to have a conversation with the bulls at the end of which he got chased out.Then to agumbe sunset point,where along with the monkeys the gang sat and had chats.Soon they returned back to their base in hotel Jewel Rock.Or did they..somewhere late in the night as they were going back, Miss Rash suddenly gets a call from the jungle or rather wants to hear the creeping sound of the bamboo trees rubbing against each other.By this time the driver ,who has given up all hope during the course of our journey(The guys had a nice time tweaking his so called sony deck which was infact one in a million as it used to get restarted much like our softwares when the going gets tough!) is freaking out.Rash as cool as ever orders the driver to slowdown.And there they are in the middle of a nowhere road ,in midst of a jungle, awaiting bliss!!
Next morning ,the gang had to leave early and poor Mri had to take a shower in cold water.But miraculously though the other two fellas go hot water.Anyways, they ride along to visit a temple ,which falls across a river and they need to cross it in a ferry.But the view was as beautiful as hilarious,because there was a lot of commotion with a myriad of people coming along with their families and their entire paraphernalia. Girls with toys, boys with balls, boys with girls,…ok let us stop @ that!.Soon they were into the waters and across..and the bus ride once it landed across was literally rocking…
Once back from the temple ,the gang went to their final leg of their trip , the jog falls. By then everybody were dead tired. finally when it came to trekking except Mri and Viral no one dared to go down to the falls..But the view was truly majestic with a rainbow across the falls.While Mri and Viral wasted away time toiling though the arduous climb, Mr SPK,Sam and Rash gorged on some “light” snacks which included dosa,noodles,lays,biscuits and so on. While they were at it the “hotel” which was just was a modern day replica of a shack , couple of kittens and their new born pussy began to amuse them,or rather irritate as SPK would put it, since he had a gut feeling that the young one was feeling rather cozy round his legs.Soon they were joined by Mri and Viral who seemed to have caught a viral,finally.
At the end of their exhausitive day,they spent some time on their favorite activity, MLA again.And their goes our Uncle Appokootan Nayar again fida on some bored Bong chick.But as they sat atop the view ,from where Jog Falls was a mirage,they got to see some of familiar poses invented by Famous Indian Photographapher.There was this stupid idiot who wanted a entire family to get a picture of themselves,while precariously standing just on the edge of a cliff.Another macho guy was trying to ask his babe to get on top of a wall so that he could get a “cool” snap.There was this whole tamilian family with all the ammas and thathas and their children and great grandchildren trying to fit in a single pic.There were also a lot of monkeys in between trying to better their skills on the trees nearby.
As it grew darker the gang slowly moved back to the Shimoga railway station. Koooooo chuk chuk …as the train gathered speed..all went back to sleep in hope of waking up energized and back to ……..work!And as usual people from all walks of life walk over poor Mr Spk's sleep!Lights off please!!
And one day, just out of the blue they decided to go to shimoga..
Ohh..I forgot to give the guys an introduction.One was a Sam,a 6 foot something gal with a BIG heart,whose favourite pastime was drugs..so later she followed her heart and became a pharmacist!The second was a northeast chick called Rash,but without the flat nose and chinki eyes!She was this bindaas female who used to hang out with guys only.The third character was a guy called Mri,who was the angry young maan of our aaiyooo proj,who had a friend called Viral(no his parents didnt hate him!!).So they went together...Ohh did i miss out somebody?One..two..three..four..and ya a guy from Planet Kerala..for the timebeing we would call him SPK(does that sound familiar)Superr Personality from Kerala.
Ok there they go..We get together at Rash's place after a hard day of work(did we?) and order pizza for dinner and wait for our cab.They watched some stuff on tv and then decided to move on by 10.15,which became 10.20 thanks to Rash not knowing where the keys are..thankfully she managed to lose her keys in her pockets! They stuffed themselves in the Maruti Omni along with the baggage and moved on to Central Railways station.The train was there on the platform and they had to sit outside as it was pretty hot inside..and ofcourse they could do a lot of MLA work..Dont know MLA?Hmm see that u guys are a fresher though not to the concept of Mouth Looking Agents.Later after some 10 mins, the guy from planet Kerala begins to yawn incessantly .Sam and the others push him into his Berth, so that he doesnt transmit the deadly disease to them.After an hour more of waiting,joking and laughter the train finally pushes itself off @11.45 .While the others are busy adjusting their baggage and making themselves comfortable,SPK is busy romancing a mallukutty in his dreams.
"Slam,dhadang,dishum",and SPK wakes up ,its early morning @ 2.30 and someone is busy unfolding the middle tier of the side berth waking Mr SPK.No apologies,not even a sense of regret.It was rude, but the guy in the middle tier acted as if it was his daily chore to wake up the poor fellow on top tier.With much difficulty SPK finally gets his sleep back.His friends are busy watching him as if watching a comedy scene and they think the guy deserves it for all the pranks SPK has played on them.
“Koffeeeeeee,Kofeeeeee”.The guys bringing in the beverages in the Indian railways have such shrill voices.Even if SPK would have been having a spaceflight,he would be brought back to earth.Anyways its nearing 6.00 and people seem to be getting down and the train is a lot emptier now.Finally all the friends get ready to land on Shimoga.The guys get into a couple of autos and check into a hotel called Jewel Rock.Bath,breakfast and a couple of hours later, the gang is getting ready to have a blast in Shimoga. The Sumo is ready and everybody hops onto it. First stop is a Dam ,where the gang took a couple of snaps and moved on to Elephant camp. That was awesome(that was the only time when SPK had to remember his prayers),because there were a lot of elephants roaming around with the ever watchful howda on its back. ”Poor animals”, sympathized the Maneka Gandhi of the team, Miss Rash. Even its dung would have killed them.There were a couple of chained elephants too,that’s when the gang would swell their chests with courage and walk with a swagger,only to jump into the nearby bushes, whenever they see a elephant coming their way.
But the camp was pretty good .The elephants had a good bath in the nearby river and most of us were left watching agape at how the mahout had the courage to poke the mighty one and cleanse it and get away with this whole act. Sam and Viral even managed to get a feel of the elephants, my are they not daring! There was this little elephant who managed to just keep its head above the water. But still it went all the way down the river with its mommy elephant. That was a cute one. After being there for more than an hour of posing and photos, the gang moved on.
Later the gang moved on to a bird sanctuary, where there were more people than birds.After moving along for another hour or so ,the gang finally hit Kuvempu’s house(the kannada literary maestro).Nice little house though,lots of old stuff and literature.The gang couldn’t take in cams and relied on the explanation of the guide for answers.Some 8-9 doctorates the poet had, and they had none amongst them.A long drive from there,and a lunch later,slowly they moved ahead on a hilly peak.There was a jain temple on top,with lovely little pond with lots of fishes.The view from the top was absolutely stunning.Nice breeze and the sound of cow bells ringing from somewhere below.The man from kerala ,Mr SPK did manage to have a conversation with the bulls at the end of which he got chased out.Then to agumbe sunset point,where along with the monkeys the gang sat and had chats.Soon they returned back to their base in hotel Jewel Rock.Or did they..somewhere late in the night as they were going back, Miss Rash suddenly gets a call from the jungle or rather wants to hear the creeping sound of the bamboo trees rubbing against each other.By this time the driver ,who has given up all hope during the course of our journey(The guys had a nice time tweaking his so called sony deck which was infact one in a million as it used to get restarted much like our softwares when the going gets tough!) is freaking out.Rash as cool as ever orders the driver to slowdown.And there they are in the middle of a nowhere road ,in midst of a jungle, awaiting bliss!!
Next morning ,the gang had to leave early and poor Mri had to take a shower in cold water.But miraculously though the other two fellas go hot water.Anyways, they ride along to visit a temple ,which falls across a river and they need to cross it in a ferry.But the view was as beautiful as hilarious,because there was a lot of commotion with a myriad of people coming along with their families and their entire paraphernalia. Girls with toys, boys with balls, boys with girls,…ok let us stop @ that!.Soon they were into the waters and across..and the bus ride once it landed across was literally rocking…
Once back from the temple ,the gang went to their final leg of their trip , the jog falls. By then everybody were dead tired. finally when it came to trekking except Mri and Viral no one dared to go down to the falls..But the view was truly majestic with a rainbow across the falls.While Mri and Viral wasted away time toiling though the arduous climb, Mr SPK,Sam and Rash gorged on some “light” snacks which included dosa,noodles,lays,biscuits and so on. While they were at it the “hotel” which was just was a modern day replica of a shack , couple of kittens and their new born pussy began to amuse them,or rather irritate as SPK would put it, since he had a gut feeling that the young one was feeling rather cozy round his legs.Soon they were joined by Mri and Viral who seemed to have caught a viral,finally.
At the end of their exhausitive day,they spent some time on their favorite activity, MLA again.And their goes our Uncle Appokootan Nayar again fida on some bored Bong chick.But as they sat atop the view ,from where Jog Falls was a mirage,they got to see some of familiar poses invented by Famous Indian Photographapher.There was this stupid idiot who wanted a entire family to get a picture of themselves,while precariously standing just on the edge of a cliff.Another macho guy was trying to ask his babe to get on top of a wall so that he could get a “cool” snap.There was this whole tamilian family with all the ammas and thathas and their children and great grandchildren trying to fit in a single pic.There were also a lot of monkeys in between trying to better their skills on the trees nearby.
As it grew darker the gang slowly moved back to the Shimoga railway station. Koooooo chuk chuk …as the train gathered speed..all went back to sleep in hope of waking up energized and back to ……..work!And as usual people from all walks of life walk over poor Mr Spk's sleep!Lights off please!!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Adious Hamara Bajaj
As the old machine chugged along with despair, it might have muttered... “years ago I was this young machine out in shining armor .Carried them all along and this is what I get! Not even a decent farewell ,not even a word of gratitude .Nothing, but a scrap metal is what I am to them now.”As the Dad once again tried to kick start it, it just wouldn’t let itself start .After cleaning the spark plug again and then some persuasions, it finally gave allowed itself to be started. Perhaps a final appeal to the owner, to give it some more time.”Joshy” I heard my name being beckoned to render the service of pushing the two wheeler from the shed.
“I will never learn to drive that one”, I sighed as I pushed the stubborn two wheeler. Never mind I have qualified myself from being a mere spectator to a big time “pusher”! The scooter on the other hand had a look of scorn on his face, perhaps sneering at me with a look that said “The whole family has learnt to drive ,except u moron. Now don’t degrade myself by sitting on my backseat.” My head stooped, perhaps the machine had point there in laughing at my expense.
Anyway I ran alongside dad and pushed it out. Dad was just done fixing the spark plug. Soon after we ( I mean dad did it, but it’s a managerial way of saying it when u have no role in it!) fixed the spark plug problem, the side cover failed to fit. So the two engineers(Dad and myself) sat down to fix a simple little problem to no avail. “Too much”, I thought “what the hell is your problem?”, I queried the machine. “It defies sense”(something dad had declared long time ago I hardly have).My software brain simply couldn’t decipher this mechanical problem. I am after all only a gizmo guy.
Finally dad did that too and so nothing was left for the machine in its defense to stall it being sent into the pages of history. As I pondered onto the historic moment, dad scolded “open the gates will you?”I opened the gates as I have been rendering this service for years.
B2/90 Hindustan Cables, WB the quarters where we stayed, and where I first remember seeing the Chetak , and it has been a part of our family for nearly two decades now. Wow two decades!! It has certainly defied the laws of thermodynamics or even the performance guaranteed by Bajaj themselves. It rode us to church, to Amladahi market in Chitttaranjan , to office for dad, to playgrounds, relatives houses, Officers Colony, Causia (both Upper and Lower).It was a well oiled Chittaranjan locomotive(in the words of late Fr Mckessack) .Later when it was brought back to Kerala, it supported us in our time of need by helping us bring all the goods from native Kavalam to home and vice versa. It has would have given an auto a run for its money, for the sheer weight it carried without giving much trouble .The bumpy muddy tracks, over the grass across gravel it simply awesome .
A generation went by and slowly as the combined forces of wear and tear and age began to take its toll on the “Hamara Bajaj”, Dad decided it would be better to sell it off.
There will of course be something missing from our scooter shed .
“Joshy close the gate”, as I suddenly awoke from my myriad of thoughts .Dad had come back ,but this time no Chetak to ride beside him.Perhaps dad alone could match the machine in performance and could have given it a farewell befitting it.
Chalti Ka naam Chetak,hamara bajaj.
“I will never learn to drive that one”, I sighed as I pushed the stubborn two wheeler. Never mind I have qualified myself from being a mere spectator to a big time “pusher”! The scooter on the other hand had a look of scorn on his face, perhaps sneering at me with a look that said “The whole family has learnt to drive ,except u moron. Now don’t degrade myself by sitting on my backseat.” My head stooped, perhaps the machine had point there in laughing at my expense.
Anyway I ran alongside dad and pushed it out. Dad was just done fixing the spark plug. Soon after we ( I mean dad did it, but it’s a managerial way of saying it when u have no role in it!) fixed the spark plug problem, the side cover failed to fit. So the two engineers(Dad and myself) sat down to fix a simple little problem to no avail. “Too much”, I thought “what the hell is your problem?”, I queried the machine. “It defies sense”(something dad had declared long time ago I hardly have).My software brain simply couldn’t decipher this mechanical problem. I am after all only a gizmo guy.
Finally dad did that too and so nothing was left for the machine in its defense to stall it being sent into the pages of history. As I pondered onto the historic moment, dad scolded “open the gates will you?”I opened the gates as I have been rendering this service for years.
B2/90 Hindustan Cables, WB the quarters where we stayed, and where I first remember seeing the Chetak , and it has been a part of our family for nearly two decades now. Wow two decades!! It has certainly defied the laws of thermodynamics or even the performance guaranteed by Bajaj themselves. It rode us to church, to Amladahi market in Chitttaranjan , to office for dad, to playgrounds, relatives houses, Officers Colony, Causia (both Upper and Lower).It was a well oiled Chittaranjan locomotive(in the words of late Fr Mckessack) .Later when it was brought back to Kerala, it supported us in our time of need by helping us bring all the goods from native Kavalam to home and vice versa. It has would have given an auto a run for its money, for the sheer weight it carried without giving much trouble .The bumpy muddy tracks, over the grass across gravel it simply awesome .
A generation went by and slowly as the combined forces of wear and tear and age began to take its toll on the “Hamara Bajaj”, Dad decided it would be better to sell it off.
There will of course be something missing from our scooter shed .
“Joshy close the gate”, as I suddenly awoke from my myriad of thoughts .Dad had come back ,but this time no Chetak to ride beside him.Perhaps dad alone could match the machine in performance and could have given it a farewell befitting it.
Chalti Ka naam Chetak,hamara bajaj.
(just check this out for old time's sake..!)
http://www.santabanta.com/video.asp?video=1894
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