Appangal embadum otteku chuttammayi…

It so happened as with hundreds of other Malayalees,  I too didn’t get a train ticket to Kerala.And then we land into the Mecca of bus transports to Kerala in Bangalore-Madivala.You can talk and walk and breathe Malayalam here and you can find many a man with lungi here .As fate would have it ,I needed one more ticket and I had to roam around for that all elusive ticket.So to people not familiar with the demographics of Madivala ,you can safely assume there are no less than 50 travels and concerns there in that 1 km stretch.So my hunt began in familiar territory of Kallada and KPN and others major travels .But many stared me down with the “how dare you ask” look.Funny man ,all I am asking you is a ticket! And then you should see these all ego non educated people who are there to handle customers .Most often they talk to you as if they are doing you a  favor instead of the other way around.If you come with the “customer is king” background –back off, this is not where you should show that kind of negotiation skills. There has long been this hedge attitude very akin to Kerala bound bus travels ,because of the apathy shown by the railway to Kerala.This is one route(BLR –Kerala) which has long been neglected primarily because  of the paybacks from bus lobby and cold shoulder given to  Kerala in rail budgets for decades.So the winner has always been buses who mint money and give shit treatment along with pathetic services.But the techie in Namma Bengaluru does hardly have a choice as he has to go home!

So there I land in front of some obscure travels with two people looking busy with their mobiles.And they have one of those stupid old CRT monitor in front and a dirty keyboard.I land in asking for my ticket.And the guy goes meditating with eyes closed and after 10 seconds tells , (you guessed it) “illa”(no in Malayalam).As I walked back I turned to see the board of his office.It mentioned getting pan card,driving license,visa attestation,legal writing were some other stuff that they do!I was thinking if they could get me a Padma Shri as getting govt recognition was very in!(as in prachiettan ).As I moved along I went to my bus stop where the melee was all the more.There were this buses lined up against each other and there was a tea shop next to it with a plastic sheet to cover the extra crowd.Did I mention that it was raining ? Well if not it was and there was a huge crowd in front of the shop.Just then another Volvo landed in and even as I stood watching ,a couple of guys suddenly took out the plastic cover leaving the people in front of the tea shop exposed to rain .And there I stood laughing as the people started to run and get drenched.No sooner had the smile gone from my face, when a dumb guy right in front of me opened his already drenched umbrella and lo, the water splashed on my face.I gave him the shit face and he nonchalantly turned around and went on his way.

I got into the last seat of the bus and since it was Volvo I was least bothered as they have pretty good shock absorbers for the bumps on the road.I had my snacks inside my bag as my eyes were treated to this pananoma of the various strata and conditions of humans.It was nearing 10 pm .A couple of beggars sleeping on the pavement with their rags of cloth as shield against the cold night,a pack of dogs chasing an old man with a sack,the odd IT guy walking back to the apartment,the police jeep doing its patrol,drunken laughter in front of various wine shops,people lazing around in dabbas and women with jasmine flowers looking for their hunter!.And amidst all this I saw  this one cool guy on a truck oblivious to all the worries around him .He was looking at some masala video on his Chinese made mob , while his friend was drove the truck He had his legs outside the side window and the cool wind was blowing his hair.And then I wondered at how simple life could be.

“Appangal embadum ....”(some crazy song in mal) blared suddenly and caught my attention to the video being shown in the bus.It was Ustad Hotel, a recent film featuring Mamooty’s son.And it grabbed my attention for the next half an hour ,there was this scene shown wherein the hero is introduced to a guy who turns philanthropist and guardian of the poor after he has this “turning point”.(Once when he was on his way back from office he saw a poor old man near the signal ,beside the sewage pipes eating his own shit out of hunger!) Well I glanced away momentarily to relate those scenes on the road .Undoubtedly there will be many homes where bread will not be broken and many, who don’t have a home to call as their own !Sad ,but the fact is if you see, the pleasures/desires  of all these men - they are very simple.Get some food,some water and a place to stay for the night .Done,was this life was all about?HELL NO, I had to build the next gen app ,someone had to build bridges,a dude had to get his next Merc and someone else wanted to rob millions ! But not this.Interesting to see how strange how circumstances define what you want out of life.While this myriad of thoughts were floating and finding their own places to map in my head….. scrrrrrrech!(the bus came to a halt).

As I got down at our customary break in TN for dinner,I went to the loo and horror of horrors on the urinals are huge red ants and dozens of em(someone is diabetic ).This was a first to me ..you know I have even managed to let go with a live wire hanging around the urinal…(well that’s another story!)

Sent Packing !

I don't know if its my never ending quest to end the pain of every lazy or loser like me,but i always want to cut corners as far as time,effort and money are concerned and not necessary in that order ! Ha ha I know we all wanna do that, but its easier said than done.After all no pain no gain and there are no shortcuts to success, are all idioms we grew up with.So the point is, whenever we are faced with the inevitable task of having to challenge ourselves and cut corners, instead of going through the tried and tested methods,we should perhaps give it a try :). OK allow me to give you guys a little illustration, though i take no responsibility of you trying and then falling flat with dire consequences.

Early this year as I had to travel to US I had to do with the usual stuff of packing myself with Indian food ,clothes warm wear and not to mention the myriad documents .Having this mammoth task in itself not a turnoff but having to prepare the list of items and then measure the weight and then repeat this ordeal is a little bit too much for most lazy bachelor bums like me! OK then so what do i do?I had as usual, bought most of the Indian stuff for survival on a masala free land like US and some snacks to boot(rice is no longer allowed in US customs, so beware) and loads of aata!And they all lay dumped somewhere as i eased into my bed and swearing to God I will definitely pack the next day morning.Well to inform you the flight is at around 7 pm and i leave at around 2.30 so that I can checking in at least 3 hours as is the norm for international flights.And I had booked the Meeru cab to pick me at 2pm, so that i can take some rest at the airport, instead of the last minute rush .So ,next morning i wake up at 10.30 am and still have loads of work to do including getting a haircut! As i finally finished my lunch at 1.30 and turn to my room ,I have before me 2 big baggage and nothing packed.And remember, all i have at hand is just 30 -45 min at hand.This is no exaggeration, just so that you have more fun while reading this blog ,but an eyeopener to the level of laziness that i am used to.After scratching my head and then my butt for a couple of minutes, i decided to use my learning for my previous travel to the States to better use.Most of us Indians love to have Indian stuff in US, which is very expensive and hence to cook would be a cheaper option.So food is what you have to stock ,in case you are going for a short visit and need to survive for a few weeks .So this is my proposal and will be the same for most other guys who usually travel this route.Pack one luggage with clothes and necessary accessories and the other luggage with food.So as you finish up the food, you will realize that you have one free luggage empty to load up on your return journey.

Well its easier said than done, because for gals or guys who are at least a little fashionable, its almost impossible to pick out a few pairs of clothes and leave the rest! But trust me,there is no need to pile up on that front, as most of us will anyways land up buying loads of clothes on arrival.(unless u r a baniya with that extra need for US dollars!)Well then pick at least 5 pairs of formals and a few T'shirts and jeans.Thats all i picked!Well the jacket and stuff i got em in my hand, to reduce the weight.And the rest of the food stuff, since it goes into the other luggage, there I go,I made the target of packing flat out in 45 min.And please please don't carry all your mom's achars and homemade stuff only to realize that its leaking or gone stale .Because you don't want to face those barrage of question on the port of entry.Well nostalgia and homesickness comes with a price!Even as the Meeru cab guy gave me a missed call, I dumped all the docs into the cabin trolley and turned mains off my room .So there you go,ready to fly a few thousand miles :).But for those who are meticulous enough to do the packing early, kindly ignore the advice and enjoy your journey .Bon voyage!