Deepawali holiday trip to native proved pretty costly for me this time around ,as the return e-ticket turned elusive.There are probably more than a few crore people in Kerala and half of them you would find them on the Island express.And with people joining in from Covai,(as the train takes a detour via TN)the melee is seen to be believed(for all the doubting thomaskutties who think i am exaggerating).I was among the lucky few who was dumb enough to think that my waiting listed e-ticket ,would finally convert ,and found myself rushing to buy a second class ticket.This second class ticket is genuinely third class.It would be a serious challenge to anyone with a meager sense or rather common sense to even fathom or have the audacity to enter it.One day we might have the Survivor series depicted on it.
Let me describe the coach,for people who are new to the world of railwaynomics! Like Laloo,the coach is also inhabited by his countrymen(literally country),who feel demeaning to enter this coach and be respectful to his/her brethren.The moment you step(or onto someone!) into the coach,the steps and the sideways of the entrance are occupied by people who are drunk enough,who senses are numb enough to enjoy the travel(i wish i were drunk too)!From here the push/pull mechanism starts,ie people who would want to get out vs people who would want to get it,neither would give the other an inch.So in the eventuality of you having to get down in between,you would have to start pushing yourself a couple of stations before.Even if you manage to get inside this famed coach,treat yourself to the Baskin Robbins, if you manage to get home in one piece.I think the stores in India can learn a lesson or two in Planograms ,such is the way each square inch is utilised here.But like my earlier posts on rail travel,there is a sense of companionship here in this coach as each one has his story to tell and most often than not,all of these would be waiting list passengers.
So here i was onto this train again on a Diwali,with a second class ticket.In this myriad country,there a reservation seat for everyone, including the politician to the beggar.You could see everyone arguing and fighting for his qouta,from the local MLA to the ex-armyman to the handicapped(i would soon fit here).As i tried bribing my way to a seat,i found to my dismay that none of the usual Ticket Checkers have come.This added to woes, as fate was slowly pushing me to the 2nd Class.Then i tried my luck in sleeper tiers and found even RAC’s were not getting cleared.As night closed in, i decided i would stay put in a sleeper this time instead of 2nd class(which is all the same).Stay put means, you would get to sit down near the loo(railway loos have eulogies written for em,and half of the male fantasies on their walls,authors would have posted their tele nos too!).I met a guy from Thrissur,who happened to work in BLR,as an accountant and he too was in the same basket of fate.As we contemplated on the next events in the eventually of a “Get Out” from the TT,a few more unreserved people from other coaches landed in.We knew we would all land in trouble sooner or later.As we had our had our dinner ,we decided to stay put,and as Gandhiji had shown in S.A to demand our rights(did he say ticketless??).Now to do this, would be to question the jurisdiction of the TT,who is as ignorant your pleas, as a teacher loving to hear your wails when he tweaks your ears.Finally we decided,that if we had to get down(or rather shoved out),we would drag on ,till Erode or Salem from where the journey to blr would be another 4-5 hours.But to our amazement the TT didn’t enter the coach, till the train chugged into Covai.Till that moment the compartment which was kind of peaceful,turned houseful.An entire set of family folks from thatha,aunty,father,mother,sister,cousin,baby,anna,akka,grandmother,grandfather and a lots more hopped in.Again we got pushed back.But here fate played a different card.One of the chaps,forgot to get his wife(i think it was on purpose) or rather his wife gave him a miss and her ticket was free!So voila,we made some dealings/auditions with the guy to play the role of his wife, to get her ticket.The deal was finalised,but the TT who got in from Covai,was so strict ,that we couldn’t even manage to get our asses in the compartment.
There would only be two options now,now to stay put or to hop out!We decided to go for the latter.So there after enduring the toilette fragrance for some lingering moments,we disembarked on our next plan at Erode at around 1.30am.I and my friend got down and caught the nearest available bus to Erode bus station.There we caught on a bus that was bound for Salem.The bus pulled on pretty slow and shook terribly and in between an old chap landed near the door! Amidst all this, i managed to catch some sleep for 1 hour as the bus took another extra one hour to reach Salem at 3.30 am.There we got down and made ourselves sure that we would get into some superr fast or express.So much to our confusion every other bus was a superfast or deluxe bus.Also we had to get into a queue ,at one end of the bus station to get into a bus.People were queued up and busses were being filled!As we hopped into another Deluxe bus,I managed to get some window seats .But sadly it was very near the door(now i know why they were empty!).As the bus slowly moved on,we asked the conductor to close the window above the door.I still remember the shock,that even as he pulled the entire frame came down,leaving the window half open,and us to the mercy of furious cold winds.I had by mistake taken my tested jacket along in the bag!I pulled it upto my ears and whipped out my bedsheet and wrapped myself like a newborn baby with just the eyes and the nose visible.
The bus pulled on and we tired souls dozed off more of fatigue than the comfort of our seats.I realised it was Krishnagiri ,only when i woke up at around 6 in the morning .Shit, i realised we were running late on a busy Monday morning,but had no options.In between it drizzled and thankfully the shutters on the windows worked for a change.As the morning winds blasted on us,I realised i was still in my mummy version.People who got in ,smiled at me as if i were Vadivelu’s cousin and sure i didn’t disappoint them!For all i cared was another couple of hours of sleep and my bengaluru to welcome me back.As the landscape slowly changed and tress gave way to concrete structures and IT parks ,Electronic City came up and as usual was buzzling in the morning traffic frenzy.It was at this point that i realised that my phone was switched off and i was more like a crusoe for the rest of the world.I landed at Madivala an hour later at 8.30 am,and bade farewell to my buddy and finally landed on two feet at Madivala market.Even as my world came back to me ,auto drivers started coming to me,”Auto saar,bari 120 rupees”……..
