“Congratulations Mr Joshy, It’s a girl” – Dr
(who shall not be named … just because I don’t remember her name)
There are certain phases in life, which will blow the wind out your
sails just when you are thinking that you have seen it all. Not that I hold
anything against any of these phases but it is an eye opener(in this context)
for new fathers especially who have little idea on parenthood and when you are
taught as a kid that storks brought in the babies J . But I was
prepared and having being certified as a good babysitter in the resume, I was
backing myself to walk through the park on this one. But like they say there is
nothing like a first hand experience. And no I don’t mean the usual poops, diapers
changing and shopping for stuff kind off headache. Those are the easier parts
of this experience.
Let me begin by stating that there is no sight better than in world
than the smile of a newborn. However you will soon realize your ignorance that
a newborn can hardly recognize you and that smile was in lieu of the pee that
just watered down your freshly pressed shirt. Its particularly hard on us who
are engineers bred with algorithms and reasoning to fathom the reason for
waking up and crying at unearthly hours. Pragmatism my dear reader is something
you leave at the doorstep while raising kids nowadays. Its far easier to
appreciate others kids than to raise one of your own .My parents had four! I
only have to look at my persona to comprehend the horrors that my mom would had
undergone while raising us up. A mom is a cook, a gardener, a babysitter, a
counselor, a friend, a nutritionist ,a teacher and much more . You value your
elders a lot more in these circumstances than perhaps when you were a bachelor
or a newly married couple!
Some one once said “It now takes more to entertain a child than it
once did to educate his father” .I can vouch for it, as I am pretty certain
that the toys and other accessories that I bought till date for my daughter
(who is only 3 months old at the time of writing this blog) has exceeded my
expenses that in incurred during the course of my engineering degree. It
remains to be seen however if can ever educate her to be one! There are more
fringe expenses now that ever and these are not necessary evils , but more of a
temptation. How often have we fallen for the discounts tricks on the retail
website or a end of season sale? After all for whom are we saving? – I hate
that obnoxious argument. And mind you its not just the local retailer, the
hospitals and doctors are also well aware of our insecurities and make us shell
out more than its required. But in spite of knowing all this, we are happy to
tread the same line time and over again. Human behavior of software engineers
are so predictable you can as well write a algo for it .
My dad not pretty long ago remarked that “Son you have no dearth of
intelligence ,but I am not sure about common sense”. And I know for certain in
this silicon valley, I am not the only one. We are constantly trying to figure
out what the kid’s next course of action might be. We are busy creating funds
for our kids than creating time for them. We are busy on our smartphones than
helping our partner out. We are busy searching the internet than ask our elders
for opinions who have raised us. I am not saying technology had not enabled us,
its more prudent to take a step back and unwind back to our own childhood. Were
it any less exciting ,just because we were lacked gadgets and kinderjoy(this
part of the blog is sponsored by them!)?
I now whatsapp my doctor with reports and he verifies and replies promptly! I
remember taking the long journey to hospitals and then taking an appointment
and then waiting in the serpentine queue for my turn to face the doctor.
Finally coming back to my kid , there have been days where I have
lost sleep and days when I am not my 100%, but when those big eyes look up to
you, I realize this is a wonderful space to be in. Its always a mystery as you
see your child coping this whole new world. Will she do it right? Will she
fail? Should I help her out ? Will she listen to me? You can almost measure her
progress as you can see her discovering and learning on the fly .It is these
moments which I will treasure and try to capture than the moments which I try
to spend to help create a better future for my kid. And I know these moments
are not too many!
